A Letter To The Past

Ten years ago today, not only did I graduate high school, but I also turned the big 1-8. As I look back on what the last ten years have brought my life, in both good and bad ways, I think it's apropos to write a letter to my 18-year-old self with some words of wisdom. If only I had actually had this letter ten years ago...

Dear Liz,

Congratulations on graduating and becoming a full-fledged adult! I know you don't think that you will change all that much over the course of ten years, but you're wrong. Here are some words of experience to share with you as you begin your adventure in "the real world".

Be nice to mom. Seriously. Be way nicer to her than you actually will be over the course of the next three years especially, but even rounding the 8 and 9 year marks. She's cooler than you realize, she has worked harder than you can ever fathom, and frankly, you are not that big of a deal to act the way you do toward her. You will look back ten years from now with regret, which sucks, and be thankful that she's still around so that you can appreciate her when you're older, wiser, and more mature.

Pick up some sort of physical activity when you get to college. Go to the gym, start playing sports, something. You're not in show choir anymore and you can't eat the same as you did in high school without some sort of physical activity to back it up. The freshman 15 is real, and you will gain it. You'll also get small stretch marks on your sides from where you get a muffin top, so cut out the middle man and don't be lazy. It will help to curb the depression that you get freshman year of college, too.

When Mike introduces you to a guy named Tim at Disneyland...guard your heart. You will end up dating him, but the only thing that you will gain from the relationship is heartache and life lessons. And then, when you two finally do break up, DON'T GO BACK! And NEVER loan him any money! There will be no happiness involved in your relationship with him, although years later you look back and realize you are stronger for it. You will only look back on it as your "young and dumb" relationship. Oh, and listen to your friends when they try to warn you about him instead of almost losing two close friendships over an idiot.

Don't use the leftover money from your student loans on frivolous stuff. Pay a little bit every month toward the loans so that you're not strapped with six figures worth of debt seven years after graduating. Just because they don't require that you pay it until you get out of college, doesn't mean that it's a good idea not to. And learn to budget. However, good job on saving up money while bar tending so that you had something after college graduation. That literally will save your life.

Although being a Marine Corps officer ultimately will not be your fate, being an officer candidate is one of the main things that leads you into a career that you love which then affords you the opportunity to work with the military and travel the world. However, pick a day other than Mother's Day to tell mom that you plan on going into the Marines.

There are some actions that you will take over the next ten years that are nearly impossible for you to forgive yourself for. Hopefully one day forgiveness will happen, but there are some burdens that you will carry with you for a long time. Unlike what you think right now, you are not always right, you don't know all the answers, and that is perfectly ok.

I don't necessarily know what 28 is "supposed" to feel like, but in ten years you won't feel like what you think 28 will feel like right now. 

Continue to love people that you don't know, that you do know, that hurt you, and that cherish you. You will get burned by doing this a few times, but it prevents you from being bitter with the world. 

Work on some stress management skills before you finish college. 

People think that you look like a total bitch when you don't smile, so smile more often.

Keep dancing and singing.

Take life one step at a time because ten years from now you will look back and wonder how the hell you fit everything that you did into ten years. Enjoy it. You live a pretty awesome life as a whole. Don't take it for granted. Be proud of yourself; I am.

Happy birthday/graduation! Now go celebrate!

Love,

Ellie (Oh yeah, you go through a multitude of name changes over the next 10 years, too...)